Disciplining our Children

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(6 posts) (5 people)

Disciplining our Children

Posted 11 months ago by KevinO

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KevinO said 11 months ago

So, lately Kendall has been a little monster and getting into stuff that she shouldn't be getting into. She is at the point where she knows that she shouldn't be doing it and even goes so far as to say "no no no" before she even does it. She thinks about it, realizes it's wrong, associates the wording to it and then goes and does it. While she is in the act, she even looks at us to acknowledge our disapproval of her actions. Then the tough part comes... Do we discipline her and how do we do it?

I have been trying a little pat on her butt and saying "no no no" or even tapping her hand (with mine on top of hers) and saying "no no no". I wouldn't say that it works completely, but it is starting to keep her from doing things she shouldn't (not always though).

I am curious to know what some of you have done and if it has worked...
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iwona said 10 months ago

Hello,

we experienced similiar situations with Kinga. She even pulled our hair (but not with aggression,just grasped and laughed). The more disaproval we showed, the more stubborn she was in her actions. We noticed, that that was happening mainly in the periods of more frequent seizures, when she was uncalm. Presently, she does not like dressing and combing herself. Both then, and now, the effective solution for us is to focus her interest on something else, e. g. a teddy bear, or dad. We often ask her questions. such as "kinga, can I put on our blouse..?". When she approves, we are allowed do to what we asked for, and it works. When we triad to discipline her directly, it did not work It worked better, when we ignored her "bad" actions. Also, she likes prizes - e.g. grapes,klapping hands, when she does what we want from her.It also works in the kindergarten, where she is very happy whes the teachers give her a stick as a prize for being active and cooperating. Kinga knows, what is good, and what is wrong, as Kendall does.
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mihaela said 10 months ago

I think Kendall is just testing you :) Which is a very cool thing! I think you should just be consistent with your rules and make sure you do not ignore her when she does something she should not be doing.
Denise is doing that too, and even though she knows she should not be doing it, she still does while looking me intensely in the eye, and sometime shaking her head (for "no").

I think it is wonderful our kids are reaching milestones like that, even though those phases last longer with them than with typical children, I still find it exciting. That's when I don't find it frustrating :)
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KevinO said 10 months ago

Mihaela- yeah, I guess that's a good way to look at it. I do know that she finds it amusing and although she has no idea that it aggravates me at times, I have to take the view that it is her brain at work...
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TeresaK said 6 months ago

For Carson, time-out really works where other things don't. We use a system based on 1-2-3 Magic where 3 earns him "by yourself time"- a real impact for someone so social. We also make it a point to emphasize and praise the appropriate things he does like using his hands gently rather than pinching or hitting me, or expressing anger by stomping his feet on the floor instead of kicking. It's gotten so sometimes I'll ask him if he needs a time out and he'll say "yeah" and sit on his own for a few seconds if he's upset, and I often only need to hold up one finger from across the playground to get him to stop misbehaving.

I'm with Mihaela that I get a small thrill when my boy does something typical... even if it's typically naughty!
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Afryka said 6 months ago

Rheyn is doing things like that now, too. And he will giggle right after he's done something he's not supposed to. He definitely knows a lot about what he should and shouldn't be doing these days. We are using time out and it seems to work well. We put him in his room with the baby gate closed so that he can't just come on out ( but with the door open so that he knows we haven't left him completely alone) and he normally stays in there for 3 minutes (his age). This is the same thing we do for Paizley, too. Before now, we really didn't do much other than tell him "no" but now that he's older and showing more signs of understanding, I think the time out method helps him realize the difference in right and wrong, and consequences.